Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Man, The Legend: Thomas Kinkade

I didn’t want to write another blog so soon, but I was absolutely shocked this morning after reading the SF Chronicle. I was debating whether or not I should report this, but I feel that it is important for the world to finally see the truth.

When you look at these kitschy paintings, you feel a great sense of relief, calmness, tranquility, and relaxation. The sensory information eventually overwhelms your brain so much with these feelings that your neurons turn off and you become a zombie that can only repeat to yourself, “I wish I could live there,” “Oh, that’s so beautiful and cute,” and “I’ve gotta buy this calendar for Grandma.”

Yes, you have been duped by artist Thomas Kinkade. I apologize, I should correct myself. He describes himself not as an artist, but as the “Painter of Light.”

Some Background Information: The Painter of Light wasn’t born with this prestigious title. He was just an ordinary man who painted until he became a born-again Christian. After being converted, Kinkade stated, “God became my art agent” –and so began his journey using religious themes in his art that zapped the neurons out of so many innocent Americans.

Don’t get me wrong, the Painter of Light can paint. He does create very detailed paintings that awe and inspire many people. But if you can get God as your art agent, then you’re pretty much set for life. That is, until I read the newspaper this morning.

The Twist: It turns out that the Painter of Light only became friends with Jesus to help persuade people into feeling that they could trust him due to his religious affiliations. How I see it: Friends with Benefits.

The Scandal: The Painter of Light has been charged with fraud and owes $2.1 million to two former art gallery owners (the two owners became a married couple). According to the couple, they had been “lied to and cheated and broken, and are broke because of the deceit they endured at the hands of Thomas Kinkade.” What? At the hands of Jesus’ BFF? Mind-boggling!

Long Story Short:
Turns out the Painter of Light used his religion as a way to create a business relationship with the couple. The gallery owners were convinced that they were going to help “in spreading the light… [and that] their business was blessed.”

As a result, The Painter of Light had the gallery owners sell Kinkade paintings at a minimum retail price. What the couple didn’t know was that the Painter of Light would also sell the same paintings on cable television at a discount price. Scandalous!

In Other Words:
Because the Painter of Light was selling his paintings cheaper than the art gallery owners, he was able to sell more of his paintings. Thus, the art gallery owners went out of business and have taken the Painter of Light to court.

My Notes to Jesus: I’m sorry, Jesus. Nobody saw this coming. I guess a celebrity, such as yourself, has to be careful because you never know who will exploit your friendship.

For more information on the story:
Egelko, B. (2009, June 18). Damages for gallery owners reinstated against Kinkade. San Francisco Chronicle.


  1. NOBODY uses Jesus ever if that man did what he did he did it on his own, Jesus knew what he was going to do with the gift God had given him, am sure he is hurt from what has happend but dont think for a minute that he walked blind into the friendship and was an idiot if he didnt see something like this coming regarless of what he has done it's not up to you or anyone else to judge this man for what he's done that is up to God and him not you so dont try to feel all satisfied for having posted this and "warned" other of his evil ways. Your just another BTICH gossiper like everyone else making the situation even worse then it already is...i hope your happy

  2. Thank you for your comment! I never said the word "warn," but yes, I am happy and your comment makes me happy too!

  3. You're writing is good! Note to phoenix, IT'S A BLOG!!!!!